CLI Reflection by Eizen Ramones

It is about two weeks after my first CLI and want to say how refreshing it is to be around people that meant so much to me. Coming back to the bay area after R2W was almost a homecoming for me, because leaving R2W felt bittersweet. Looking back on CLI, I feel that I brought a lot of my "garbage" to CLI. A lot has happened since R2W, like my grandfather getting sick, my parents' jobs becoming unstable, and school becoming a drag... feeling like I could of been more present in the crticial faiths. I felt as if I was running away from my problems that I was leaving behind in Hawaii, and hoping that CLI would fix everything, and it fixed what I thought was the real problem. Seeing everyone again was such a relief, because I missed that feeling where I can speak my mind to a group of people and feel the least bit comfortable about it. Over the summer, and during school, I had a hard time talking about "conscious faith" and being "real" with people. I remember having to dread about going to school because I didn't want to kiss "butt" with my professors. But with CLI I feel like I don't have to hide what I "really have to say". Going through CLI just reminded me how much I needed to take my own inventory and let people be themselves. My relationships with friends and family has been rough. I catch myself holding back or talking out of my ass so that my friends or parents will like me. However when I do speak my truth to people I find that my relationships become deeper. I guess my goal coming out of CLI is to be more conscious, and what that means to me is, becoming aware of what is the truth that is not only coming out of my mouth but also with other people. What I believe helped me in CLI were Critical Faith sessions, and meditation sessions where we give ourselves time to think about our day and our lives. I would also suggest to have more intimate settings like one-on-ones where there is a better level of trust within the group to speak our minds. I always believe that truth has power behind it, and its always good to hear everyone's story, and be honest about it.
However, in my personal life, I am getting ready for my church's Christmas celebration as well as working with the youth group for our annual Christmas caroling. It is where we go in the neighborhood and sing Christmas carols to church members to raise money for my our youth group for future events. Our goal for the youth group is to plan an immersion trip to California and talk about our faith in a different environment. Otherwise, I just wish everyone in R2W and CLI a safe and happy holidays!