April 22, 2009
Los Angeles was exhausting as it was empowering. We felt like we needed to see and be with the people. It felt in many ways like it was a place where all the action was and I’m not talking about Hollywood. The action was everywhere, from downtown L.A. to Long Beach. We started Thursday evening splitting our own ways. Sina and I got to see our family and that was a good boost of energy for the rest of the stay. I think we are so use to complaining about our family that we sometimes forget why we always return back. We go back because as much as it hurts to see them go through the daily pains and struggle, we know that the invisible shackles around their arms and ankles are put aside when they see our faces. The frown lines are turned into soulful smiles and jokes are flowed from the small kitchen and into shared bedrooms. For a few minutes we felt like we accomplished something. We are something that our family can be proud of… We are something that got out…
At my mom’s humble garage home Sina and I helped my mom shove thick 24k gold ear rings into my eight month old daughter’s ears. Before Violet crammed her mouth with crackers that mom gave to distract her from the pain mom threw some holy water on her. “If you want to be beautiful you have to go through some pain,” she said with a smirk while she examined my daughter’s ears. My mom’s belief is that girls have to wear gold. It looks nice on brown skin, wards off bad spirit, and during war it’s the only thing you can trade for food or for an escape.
We were also able to visit the youth center I grew up in: Central City Action Committee off of the 101 highway. I was back home and I tried my best to hold it together. Memories of selling used stuff for money to spend on short summer trips sprinted through my head. At first I felt a little embarrassed of even having the idea of hosting a banquet at this “neighborhood joint.” Like me, it’s gotten older and is trying to continue to stay true to its people and roots. But when I saw the old familiar faces, I felt a sense of pride and gratefulness. This is MY neighborhood, my first love, my first burrito, my first a lot of things. It reminded me of how Cambodia is for my mom. This was my American Cambodia. It was my experiences and where my passions and emotions grew. At that point, there was not that much doubt anymore.
We were also able to visit the youth center I grew up in: Central City Action Committee off of the 101 highway. I was back home and I tried my best to hold it together. Memories of selling used stuff for money to spend on short summer trips sprinted through my head. At first I felt a little embarrassed of even having the idea of hosting a banquet at this “neighborhood joint.” Like me, it’s gotten older and is trying to continue to stay true to its people and roots. But when I saw the old familiar faces, I felt a sense of pride and gratefulness. This is MY neighborhood, my first love, my first burrito, my first a lot of things. It reminded me of how Cambodia is for my mom. This was my American Cambodia. It was my experiences and where my passions and emotions grew. At that point, there was not that much doubt anymore.
The following day we went to Downtown Los Angeles to talk with Raul at IDEPSCA. We met some people working on modest but big projects like the Celluar phone/Blog Projects. People in the community can come into their office and blog about their working stories. Most of the stories are about being exploited. It is instant and ready to be published in seconds. IDEPSCA had so many projects that Sina, Victor, and I were self-conscious and intimidated to propose a new one. This project is aimed to make R2W and IDEPSCA’s relation be more intentional instead of the two-three yearly drop in’s. With a little nudge from MJ we were able to mutter up some strength in the hot L.A. heat to purpose the project over home-made tortillas that Raul raved about at a local Mexican Food restaurant (and they were simply delicioso!)
On the day of the banquet Maribel’s mom and cousin cooked up some chicken mole for us and I felt fulfilled. The banquet was filled with people from all over L.A, it was beautiful. For the first time in my life the new generation of my family came and witnessed.
Sunday, the last day of our Los Angeles trip started out very well. We caught up with each other and planned our visit to Sina’s church in Santa Ana. There was a big number of youth turn out. It was the first time that all the Pilipino, Cambodian, and Tongan youth got together in one room. They said it was nice to see and hear each other talk. It was really nice to be there in person and see it myself. Sina did a good job speaking in front of her home church. I can tell that the girls especially look up to her. I know how hard it is to speak to the people from home. We kind of put them on the side and label them as the past when we are transitioning into new chapters of our lives. People at home see us as the young girls that use to do this and that. So we just leave it separate from what we are doing now. Or so we thought. Being on staff has really made us deal with what we were once uncomfortable and scared of. We were seen as leaders and role models. Can you believe it? Me, seen as a good role model? Not too long ago I was seen as the street girl who just partied and was nothing but trouble. This weekend was a treat for me and Sina.
We were feeling very relaxed and pretty hungry so we decided to go a diner. We took it slow and that resulted in us missing our flight and I was number 49 out of 126 for standby. There was no chance in us getting on a plane that night. The only way now was renting a car and driving it up. That was what we did. MJ and Sina had to stop by the nearest Target (which was in Inglewood) to buy a car seat for Violet. Sina stepped up to the plate and drove us home. It was long drive but it was a worthy trip.
We were feeling very relaxed and pretty hungry so we decided to go a diner. We took it slow and that resulted in us missing our flight and I was number 49 out of 126 for standby. There was no chance in us getting on a plane that night. The only way now was renting a car and driving it up. That was what we did. MJ and Sina had to stop by the nearest Target (which was in Inglewood) to buy a car seat for Violet. Sina stepped up to the plate and drove us home. It was long drive but it was a worthy trip.
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